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When she asked the waiter if he was reading her mind, the staunchly blank-faced young man replied,"It came from that gentleman over there, Madame."Fiona peered in the direction of the waiter's finger and saw her massage specialist from the beach visit. He waved at her and she beckoned him with her hand wondering what his game was."Hello, pretty woman, I hope you are all loose of your tenseness and your tight muscles."She looked at him and saw he was considerably older than what she had thought. It was probably because when you are on the wrong side of 60, one tends to magnify the differences in age. The boy was obviously not a boy, but a young man in his late 30s with a boyish look to his face."Why did you pretend to be a beach boy this morning?" Why, my pretty lady, I only asked if you wanted a massage and you agreed. I never professed to be anything at all except interested in your lovely shape and delicious looking lips."Fiona decided right then and there that this one was a. I knew as soon as the date was over I'd never see her again. We were in the park, and I'd just told a gross joke -- I was desperate. It was a penis joke. I was trying to show, through humor, how I wasn't like all those other guys. And by doing so I was exactly like all those other guys. Except that I suck at reading women and thus I don't know when it's time to bail out. And I'm telling this penis joke when we're alone, in the park downtown, at night. Could I have been any more skeezy?So she suddenly stands up. Furious. Hands on her hips and everything."I swear to God," she said, "you men are all alike! It's always about that thing in your pants!"Guilty as charged.Then she said something weird. At the time I thought maybe she pitied me.Now I realize she was cursing me. As in, putting a curse on me.She said: "That Dick of yours is going to ruin your life."And then she slapped me. So hard I saw stars. Everything went white.When I came to, I was sprawled out on the ground next to the.
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