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She looked at me, concerned, but who also was happy to hold the baby that she could never have. Her nephew. Her stepson.~~~~~The day came when I was discharged from hospital. Hans gone back to work – he was the CEO of a major corporation, after all – but Marie stayed with me, and helped get me home.Home. Where was that? Would I ever have a home again without Mistress?We went back to the house, and Marie made supper for us, then had to insist that I ate it.In the days that followed I came to a realization: nobody knew how I really felt, but they would never leave me alone unless I convinced them I was okay. So, performer that I am, I started to smile and participate. I helped cook meals, I kept the house clean the way Mistress would have wanted it. And when Eric came home, I showed the very real emotions I had for him, for him having a home, for him being home.I lied, in other words. Because I was dead inside. I felt anxious all the time. I felt lost and alone, that no one understood. "They didn't do everything to you that they did to me." Well, no, they didn't. And that looked pretty horrible. I didn't even know people had sex that way before that moment."Dad responded, "I agree. I doubt if very many boys have ever thought about that possibility. Boys that age are just horny and would be happy with any kind of relief. I'm not suggesting anything, but I agree that I don't think you have to worry about boys thinking of doing that to you."We decided that the best idea for right now, since school was almost over anyway, was to just go on as if nothing had happened. Pam said that she would try to be supportive of me as much as she can, and we decided to walk to school together from now on.June 1The past two weeks have not been as bad as I feared they could be. Mark can not seem to understand why I refuse to even talk to him, and Jake has not bothered me at all. Pam is being pestered nearly every day by some of the guys that were there, but she won't even speak to.
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