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He said he just wanted to watch me get off. So I did, and for once, I wasn't faking it.The pattern continued: he'd come in almost every day and message me for hours, throwing out comments about the other guys that they couldn't see, sometimes taking me to a private room when he could afford it. He wanted to see me enjoying myself, instead of simulating bad porn. He wanted to see my face when I came.I started getting to know him. His name was Arthur. I found out he was a real professor — he taught at a small liberal-arts college, which is why he was online all day, grading papers. I found out he was occasionally cranky, often bitter, but always receptive to banter. He mentioned c***dren, in passing. I mentioned Jason, which, since I pretended to be single online, was another slice of my real self.Finally, I told him one day that I couldn't keep taking his money. It wasn't fair. I liked him too much. I wrote him a long email from my personal email account, the real one, told him my. .. right.” I shrugged. “It’s hard to explain and there’s never been a book that talks about framing a shirt, but yesterday was a pretty terrible day for me and my week went from being the absolute worst to the absolute best. I would never want to lose that touchstone to what happened today.”We were interrupted a moment later by the door opening. An orderly pushing a wheelchair came into the room and greeted us and started with an explanation that it was hospital policy to use a wheelchair when discharging a patient. I assume he was used to arguments, but I could barely stand on my own, let alone walk. I waited ‘til he had the chair positioned and the brake set before I carefully got to my feet and hopped, with Patty’s help to where I could lower myself into the chair. Each hop had jolted my ankle, driving bolts of searing pain up my leg. By the time I was settled in the chair, I was ashen-faced and gasping.Patty understood and asked the orderly to give me a moment to recover. I looked.
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