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There is only now, only this moment together. Only you, only I, only the moon hanging in the clouds like a tarnished ghost.We have just returned from a lifeless black tie gala at the art museum. We stand at arm’s reach from each other. A full moon shines through your open window, grey and cryptic, spilling moonlight across your face. Your eyes twinkle, your lips part, yet you do not otherwise move. I watch your chest rise and fall as you breathe. You are waiting for me. I hook a finger through the pearls looped around your neck and pull you to me, carefully, so as not to break the strand.Before we met at the gala, I called and gave you very specific instructions on what to wear. You know what this means, when I want you to wear something very specific. You love what this means. You breathlessly memorize every detail. In my mind you are touching yourself, fingers sliding inside your panties as you listen to my voice, but I know this is not true. You work in a cubicle. You are. Mydesire as a child was to make people happy and not makethem mad or sad by anything I had done or failed to do. Mydecisions then as they are today are mostly based on what Ican do for others. Does this make me female? Does thisattitude make me unable to survive as a male in this world?Everything does change eventually; will the world changeenough to accept me as I am?"Doctor Purnell looked at me and smiled saying, "Rachel, allthose questions can and will be answered by you when yourealize a few more things. Why don't you continue yourstory and see for yourself?"I looked at Grace and she just nodded urging me to go onand so I did.* * * * *Update!!!!!!!While all this was going on upstairs, the happeningsdownstairs were getting very interesting as well. Barb wasbecoming very impatient and it was all that the otherscould do to keep her calm and quieted. So, they begantelling her the story?s they knew, some I had notremembered yet, still buried deep within me. That is why Iwas here now..
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