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I had cleared my throat about fifty times and was about to mention the weather for the thirtieth when she broke the silence first. "So, does my dad give good blow jobs?" She looked at me so seriously that I suddenly forgot all about Tim's blue ribbon head skills and stammered, "They're okay." Cynthia raised a single eyebrow at my lie and I had to take a deep gulp of my cold coffee before I could look at her again. "That doesn't sound right," she said, "I come from a long line of phenomenal cock-suckers and I'm pretty sure my daddy is one of the best." "What?" What the fuck was this chick saying? "You heard me." She stood up, stacking the plates and taking them over to the counter. I turned to watch her move from the table across the kitchen, her body lush and seemingly hypnotic in the way she swayed her hips. I shook my head hard to come back to reality. I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay. I was chanting the words in my head, the erection in my pants clearly oblivious to my mantra. "I know. He normally appears as a huge lion but for some reason he’s pretending to be Mr Tumnus.”So I said, “And who is Mr Tumnus?”And she said, “He is. At least he’s pretending to be.”And I was thinking that this was really bizarre and how was I supposed to talk to this girl when she was such a total nutcase.Then she said, “What’s your name again?”So I said, “Mischa.”And she said, “That’s a nice name. My name is really Rebecca, but all of my friends call me Bec.”And I said, “You aren’t from America. Where are you from?”And she said, “Prista.” I think that’s what she said, anyhow.I was trying to think of something nice to say, so I said, “Your English is pretty good for a foreigner.”She didn’t say anything to that but she did give me a weird look. I don’t know what that meant.Then I said, “So how did you end up in Narnia?”And she said, “I’m not sure. I think I did it the usual way. You know, I crawled through a wardrobe. I’m having a bit of a problem remembering things.”And I said, “I don’t.
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