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I switched on the keyboard and let my fingers roam, playing aimlessly for a while to relax and warm up. The process of writing a song is a strange one and if someone was to ask me how I do it I probably couldn't give a clear answer. Sometimes, I had a fragment running around in my head for days that forms the nucleus of a song. Sometimes it comes out of nothing. Usually I have a thought in my head as to what the lyric should roughly be about. I form the song and melody and then just sing and see what words come. Most times I have to step away from the keyboard and guitar and sit down to get the words finalised. Other times however it all just flows out and I just switch on the four-track to make sure I don't lose it or forget it.After 5 or 10 minutes of mind-clearing playing, I stopped. I sat and thought. Think like a girl? I grinned and mentally pictured myself extracting logic and reason from my mind. Chuckling to myself I knew I'd get a slap from Jools if I shared this with her.. Her Mum was quite the feminist.Carol said to me that whenever my Dad hit me I should imagine him dressed asme. It used to make me smile and I always wondered what it would be like tosee a man dressed up as a woman. After a while Carol and I used to sleeptogether. It was my way of getting back at him. We would frequently go totransvestite bars and whilst I would never pluck up the nerve to talk to oneof the performers I always wondered what it would be like to sleep with areal man like that."That wasn't exactly my idea of macho, my idea of macho was more like herfather. Then I had resolved that I was not going to be like my father, ashe used to beat me, and he was very like her father. Seeing I had not saidanything Maria carried on."I know not many guys think of transvestites as being real men but let meexplain and you are probably thinking that that does not sound very macho toyou, right? How could dressing up as a woman be like being a real man? A"macho man" like my Dad is.
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