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" It's supposed to be a secret." 'Teen Moses' warns me, then adds:"And now Bruno's secret little panty waist is doing WORSE than justdrinking with other boys - he wants in on their virgin sacrificestoo!" "Virgins, eh?" The Fag-Hag says to herself mostly annoyed. "It IS asacrifice in a way, isn't it? ... That's where I draw the line!"The Fag-Hag gets like that sometimes, crazy. She'll have a fewdrinks and often mumble something about the 'olden days', and NOTwhen she was a little girl either. Past lives, she meant. All her important friends (and enemies!) have crossed paths with herBEFORE - as in a PAST LIFE. The motorcycle hoodlums of today werejust another version of the (dreadful) male warriors as in days ofyore.And this line had just been crossed, according to the Fag-Hag:merely because 'Teen Moses' put the words 'virgin' and 'sacrifice' inthe same sentence, crazy. "Bruno's ability to impact his secret little lover boy disappointsme." The Fag-Hag lamented to 'Teen Moses' sadly.. .. no matter how good his manners are.PERSONAL H YGIENE1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.DATING (Outside the Family)1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested:"I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.THEATER ETIQUETTE1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie.
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