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Isyou." ...I'm sorry?" I ask."That nice Jamie-Lee woman is always saying 'you can never have toomany friends'," grandma clarifies. "Either she's a massive hypocrite,or she genuinely wants to have Ian Freeman as her friend. Not IanFreeman the budding celebrity, or Ian Freeman the student, or IanFreeman the transgendered boy- or even Ian the boy. Just Ian." So all I need to do to make it up to them," I say, "is be myself?" It's as easy as that," grandma says. "Do you have the address of thehotel where your friends are staying?" Umm, yeah," I say."Then eat up," grandma orders with a knowing smirk on her face.Half an hour later, we pull into the cold, quiet car park outside thehotel where I partied last night, and much to my relief, Stuart'sfriend's van- easily identifiable by the 'Celestials' logo on its side-is still in the same spot it was in last night. I head into the hotel'sfancy restaurant and am immediately greeted by a loud cheer from twotables. One of the table is playing host. .frozen wasn't really theright word. Jim could feel his whole body trembling in fear as he laythere wondering what the hell Maria was thinking of. Jim's heart wasracing and, as he lay there terrified, he thought to himself that Mariamust be mad to bring Karen back to their flat. Surely she must haveforgotten that he would be wearing his sexy clothes? Why would she riskembarrassing him like this?'Are you okay sweetie?...Are you awake?...do you need any help?' askedMaria.Slowly, Jim opened his eyes as he tried as best he could to feignawakening from his sleep. Withough moving, and with his heart feelingthat it might jump out of his chest at any minute, he looked across atthe two best friends sitting on the sofa opposite from him.'Oh!...hi...sorry, I was..I was just catching forty winks' Jim stammeredquietly. As he did so, Jim was relieved to see that the blanket that hehad pulled over him earlier was still covering his legs. 'Thank God!' hethought to himself 'At least with this blanket.
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