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This was the longest I had gone without a letter and I found myself waiting on the front stoop of my small walk-up apartment every morning waiting patiently for the post man to come round, but every day that passed without a letter brought new fears. I worked as many shifts as possible at work. I volunteered extra days and busied myself preparing for the transition to teacher's college I would be making soon — anything to occupy my mind, really. I had been running on autopilot for months now, waiting to hear from him. I felt sick to my stomach every time I turned on the television to watch the news, but at the same time could not turn a blind eye. Where was he? Was he safe? Did he think of me as often as I thought of him? I lay in bed one lazy Thursday morning. Graduation was tomorrow, then I would head home to enjoy three whole months off until the fall semester started and I could get back into the routine of school once again. I was in the middle of a very pleasant and steamy. I had to imagine I enjoyed that imaginarysex, so she'd believe I did. To some degree, I did.After the second month Laurie decided I should have a brief tasteof life as a working girl, so she booked me for a week as an officetemp. I started out scared, but finished up all heels and skirtsand crisp blouses and intimidating secretarial efficiency. None ofthe other girls ever caught on that I wasn't born a woman, nor didany of the men. Especially not the cute men I flirted with underorders. Laurie was proud of me and I was too. "Doesn't it feelnice?" she said. "Now you know there are two ways you can makeyour way in the world if Brenda and I should throw you out. As adomestic or as a secretary. Not that there's any chance I'd wantto be rid of you, the way you're shaping up." What if I should just walk out?" I asked."Oh, you could," she replied. "You could have done that when youwere a man, and you can do it now that you're a woman. Any time. But you don't, do you?" No," I.
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