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”The voice on the other end said, “What is the patient’s name and room number?”“Sarah Finkel, Room 302.”“I’ll connect you with the nursing station”“3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?”“I’d like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in Room 302.”“Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she’s had two full meals. Her blood pressure is fine. She is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon.”The woman said, “What a relief! Oh, that’s fantastic ... that’s wonderful news!”The nurse said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!”“Neither! I’m Sarah Finkel in Room 302! Nobody here tells me shit.”10 funny random thoughts to about 2016Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry. “Same cup size but not as big as hers.” He nodded towards the drunk woman on the sofa. I stared at him. “You ever seen your Mum’s?” “Yeah, lots of times. You want to see them?” I could only nod dumbly.I watched in disbelief as Bobby went to stand at the end of the sofa by his mother's head and, before I could say anything further he had reached down, grabbed the bottom of his mother’s t-shirt and pulled it up high to expose a greying brassiere. Because she was lying on her back her breasts were bulging at each side of the cups. “Here you go!” Bobby said and hooked a finger under each cup and hauled his Mum’s bra up under her chin. Free of any support her tits flopped either side of her body. I gazed at the exposed udders, taking in the large dark patches of her areolae. I had once caught a quick glimpse of my own mother’s tits when she was changing at the beach and her areolae had been small and pale. I looked down at the magazine on the floor. “Your Mum’s are good but I still.
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