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I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!Now, go have a nice day, or whichever kind of day you want.Understanding Engineers #1Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want”The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”Understanding Engineers #2To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is. I don’t want to bore you with all the details, so I guess I’ll just start from where it gets interesting, and fill in the missing pieces as I go. It was two years into our marriage when Dusty really started getting fat. Dusty started gaining weight senior year, when a torn ACL put the brakes on his so-called football career. I say so-called because Dusty was probably the only person in the world who thought that dream was coming true. The truth was, Dusty was always going to leave sports and work in my daddy’s car shop, that’s just the way things work in this town. Anyways, Dusty had been growing apart for years, the only thing was, Dusty hadn’t noticed. I wish I could say it wasn’t his fault, and in a way it really wasn’t, but I was what you would call ‘sexually starved’. Dusty, despite his best efforts, had never been able to get me off sexually. That wasn’t entirely his fault though, I mean, Dusty had no control over the size of his dick did he? When I met Dusty in Junior Year,.
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