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If I couldn't see the red I could possibly escape facing the facts. It's not easy being honest with yourself when your whole world is black. I hadn't had time to think about anything. My heart, my soul... everything seemed so gray — no, it was black.As we drove through the park to the church that bright summer day I didn't see the green leaves and lawns that were so painstakingly taken care of. I saw a day the gray of pewter. I saw the girls in their colorful summer frocks, the bright colors, the girls that were so... alive. As I watched one girl with a shining yellow sundress - her face glowing with a pretty flush from the sun - she started fading, the yellow to gray, and her face to black. I had to turn my head until my darkness went away — if it ever would.Angie turned and looked at me, seeing the darkness on me, the color of my life fading. She squeezed my hand and I felt a sudden guilt at the dampness in her eyes. At the same time I felt a faint, disturbing jealousy: the pain. I was at my apartment alone on one of my off days and I’d been drinking and playing video games online from early morning to afternoon. I hadn’t had a hookup for two or three weeks and by the early evening I was tipsy and horny. I texted a few girls I knew but they were all busy at the time so I started to lose hope on getting some pussy and opened up my browser to start masturbating. I clicked through a few videos and came across a video of a mature cougar taking some interracial dick and that got me thinking about what happened with Katie’s Nanna a while back and how she told me to let her know if I ever needed to “talk to her” again. I stopped stroking my dick, wiped my hand clean on the rag I had prepared and grabbed my phone to text Nanna. I sent a text saying, “Hey how have you been?” Thinking to myself she’s probably not even going to text back. I quickly got a reply saying, “Good. How are you?”. I was somewhat shameful of what I was doing but also excited at the fact that she.
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