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None of this would have been possible if it wasn’t for God’s plan for us and my faith, and that of all of you, in Him.’ ‘And now my friends, it is time for all of us to move on to a new level of service to God. We are going to literally move up to the next level of service to Him.’ A buzz of excitement spread over the audience. ‘You are all aware that the upper level of this building has been under-utilized, it has only been used effectively when we have had special functions, special services, but we are rapidly outgrowing the area that we have available for us on this level.’ ‘The decision has been made that we should move up to the next level sooner rather than leaving it until we are forced by circumstance to move. So over the next month we will be taking up ‘Miracle Offerings’ so that we can begin the transition as soon as possible.’ ‘If you think that the Praise and Worship of this church can’t get any better, be prepared for an awesome experience, it will rock!’ Loud shouts. .. Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation...My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do the second week.Even duct tape can’t fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.This item is compliments of an Anonymous donor:A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an American, a Kiwi and a Australian Woman, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The American woman said “Have you ever had a hug?”The man said “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on.The Kiwi woman said, “Have you ever had.
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