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“I don’t know what to do anymore,” I admitted.Kelly cross the room in a few steps and hugged me again.“You’re not lost, Paul. Your friends and family are nearby. Your kids are here. Let us all help carry a small part of your burden. Trust me, it’s the only way through this for you and Ali and Jer.”For the first time in weeks, I cried. For a heartbeat, I let myself believe I was not alone, and I hated myself for thinking it.“Daddy, can I ask you a question?” Ali said as she sat down beside me on the family room couch.“Of course, you can, honey,” I said.“Can I learn to fly?”Her question caught me totally off guard.“Why do you want to?” I asked.“I told Aunt Helen about Jer on the plane,” she said simply.After his fear and loathing of flying out to Washington DC, we had taken a sleeper train home the week after Thanksgiving. The kids had thought it was a grand adventure, even if it did take much longer to travel.“And what did she say?” I asked.“She told me that when we fear something, it. The narrow lane I am now on ends at a bridge over the Cam and I turnleft along the bank: there are several pubs and I go to the third andsit at a table outside, as agreed. I wonder what you will be like andwhat this spring afternoon holds, as I sip a glass of chilled Chablis,my legs crossed, only showing my stocking tops in the occasional lightbreeze.Each time a gentleman walks to the pub I try to work out it is you. I'veseen no photograph, just a couple of extremely erotic pencil sketches ofyour preferences. I know you are several years older than me, perhaps 10years, so are likely grey-haired. I imagine whether each of these menwould have set up a date like this? Whether they will approach me withthe confidence of one who knows that he will be able to have me. andwill simply need to decide when and how. I feel my face flushing and mynipples hardening. I realise this blouse is slightly more transparentthan I had thought while getting dressed. The light breeze is alsomaking sure that.
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