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Fear of the pain? No…more accurately described as fear of failure. What kind of mother will I be? Hands explore a surface so hard and round and promising, feeling that pulse of life within, wishing I could look like this forever and have someone to whisper to. And then the pain came, and I wonder why I was not in fear of it. Pain like a river, a waterfall, an earthquake…pain like a volcanic eruption that makes me scream and scream and scream. So much pain to deliver a life so small. Giving birth was perhaps the most painful and colorful moment of my life, the ripping of a soul that I’m not even sure exists. It tore from me like the wing of bird, disabling my flight through the azure dawn of existence. I felt that when I was crying my tears were made of glass because they hurt as they came out razor edges carving bloody scars down my cheeks dropping like bullets onto my heaving chest, dividing lines around my heart, stilling my flowing stream of consciousness into a stagnant pool of. Both were very accurate. The Marlin was chambered for .45 Long Colt, just like the Colt I had bought today. The Sharps was chambered for .45-70 and could easily take something down out to six or seven hundred yards.Slim showed me his guns, a .22 Long Rifle 1873 Great Western made by a company called EMF. It had an interchangeable cylinder where you could also shoot .22 magnums. His rifle was a Rossi .30- .30 lever action. Both had cosmetic wear but were in good condition.After putting my cleaning supplies away, it was obvious that we were both tired from the day. We climbed into bed and were soon asleep.The weekend was uneventful. After the morning feeding we drove the supplies out to the site where we would be working. It was only about a quarter mile from the Rio Grande so Slim took me over and showed me the river. It was not as impressive as I had imagined. The river seemed shallow and the water was muddy. He also showed me around the southern part of the ranch and some of the.
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