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I was genuinely considering the possibility of building an igloo and trying to get it warm inside, when the thought of Christmas Eve came into my head, shining like a golden beacon ... Christmas Eve, and a two-hour church service. Plus travel time! A girl and her dog could do a lot with two hours alone.When the day came, I did something that I very rarely do, and flat-out lied to my parents, telling them that I was feeling unwell. I asked to stay home, and they agreed without questioning anything too closely. It seemed like they might have seen through the lie, but were letting it slide. Perhaps they just understood, in a general way, that I wanted some time alone, and they were willing to let me have that as a little day-before-Christmas gift. I felt shabby about doing it, though -- skipping church for some dogfucking. You wrestle a bit with your self-image when you do something like that. I made a mental note to try to make it up to my parents at some point.I lay in my room,. "And that was that. She had security come and escort me out of the building.Though my time with the company was over, my life as a woman and as asecretary would continue for the foreseeable future.Because of my depleted savings, I knew I had to find a new job right away. Itried to apply for jobs with more managerial responsibilities. Many wouldn'ttake me because as Michelle I only had minimal clerical experience. Othertold me that a manger is a "man's job" and that a position such asreceptionist or secretary would be more appropriate.I soon realized that I was stuck as an office flunkie. So I bit the bulletand took one of the many secretarial positions I was offered.So here I am now. I've faced reality and accepted the fact that I'll neverreturn to my male identity. I'm stuck in heels and skirts for the rest of mylife.I've tried to make the best out of my position. I'd been feeling prettylonely, so I decided that it was time to start dating. One of the salesmen inmy office, Eric, took.
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