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She noticed my avoidance of any look toward her. ‘What is your name?’ she asked. ‘Jake’. ‘Well my names Debbie.’ We shook hands. ‘Jake you know I’m not in the bathroom. You’re allowed to look at me even though I am naked.’ I laughed nervously. I looked at her quick then continued to look at the rising sun. My heart was racing and not from the run. She stood up. She walked in front of me. She did a playful sexy spin and shook her tits. Her body was amazing. She was about mid forties and had a perfect heart shaped ass. Her breast were at the very least c cups and still firm and perky. Her body showed a faded outline of a bikini. She had my eyes glued to her. She sat back down next to me laughing. ‘Well Jake I had to break the ice somehow and you were not budging.’ I laughed. ‘Is it even legal?’ I asked. She put her head back. ‘I will explain it the best way I know how Jake. I work a finance job in the city. This is my summer home. I had this place built to be a getaway. My week is a. .. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.The biggest lie I tell myself is...”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet... Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there.
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