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"How the hell am I going to improve my pitching wedge if that fucking collie won't take my practice balls out of her mouth?" I wondered. I have a big tournament this weekend... (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #2: I spread apart those well turned legs looking for that divine honey pot that I knew was sure to be there. My practiced eye traveled up one leg until I spotted it. Sure enough, "Miller's Honey Box" was stamped on the side and I knew I had found another antique treasure from the 1920's. The sturdy little piece of furniture had stood quietly in the back of the store... (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #3: It was a dark and stormy night... (On second thought, skip this one. It's a stupid opening and totally unbelievable anyway.)Which brings me to my last point. We have to stop using dumb openings to these things. Just get the disclaimer out of the way and get on with the action. Our customer satisfaction ratings have slipped from 97% to 95.3% in the latest J.D.. “Hi, Mommy,” she tried to say brightly.“What in the world is going on there?” asked her obviously curious and somewhat distraught mother. “What was that man talking about?”“We’re ... um ... renovating the house. I’m going to start a child care center here.”“What?” asked her mother. “You’re going to tend other people’s brats?”Renee felt the heat of anger surge through her. Her parents were a constant source of angst in her life.“I’m going to use my education to earn a living, Mother,” she said, trying to keep the anger out of her voice.“You don’t need to earn a living, Renee,” said her mother, authoritatively. “What is going on there? Where is Daniel? Why are you doing this, Renee?”“Mother,” said Renee firmly. “With Daniel gone, I do need to make a living, and I did go to college to learn how to help children. There is nothing dishonorable about working for a living, Mother.”“I’m coming down there!” declared her mother. “Something fishy is going on here, and I’m going to get to the.
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