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"Mother, what were you talking about before when you said that you were talking about me?" This is pretty convoluted, I know, especially coming from me. I was serious when I told you that I feel like a totally different woman today then I did yesterday. I really can not believe how my stupid, naive, archaic attitude about sex has deprived me of enjoying sex and has really made me depressed throughout much of my life. It is really terrible that I allowed this to rule my life and keep me down. When I was your age, the church was adamant about purity and its values to a marriage. My mother piled onto that message with her own version of a woman's role in bed and between the two, I ended up with the idea that my right to enjoy sex and its pleasures was a figment of my imagination. All of these years that your father and I have been married I have considered it my duty to give him my body whenever he wanted or needed it while I did not even think about, much less try to gain any pleasure. I had been 'out' with my sister a few times, and I knew that I was reasonably passable as a girl my age if I was careful, and had long ago learned to cope with the fear that I would be discovered. When I was dressed I looked pretty good, and I knew it. Little did I know then. As I rose to leave the room and change, Grandmother said, "The party is at three, so I want you ready by two. A nice summer dress will be okay Clarice." I said nothing as my Grandmother smiled that enigmatic smile she has. I found out that if I pin my hair back with a barrette, put on lipstick and blusher a bra and a pretty blouse, not many have been able to tell I'm a guy. Because of that, I was filled with myself as I went to my bedroom to lay out the clothes I would wear to show her just how nice I looked. I returned to my room to get ready with a smile on my face. During the last year I had found several sites on the Internet that sold things to make men into women, and with my allowance I had bought some.
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