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Their expressions were mirrors of concern and resolve.Whatever was going on with me, they clearly knew more than I did. Icoughed as a spasm constricted my chest. "Okay, okay. Get me the forms"*I think I surprised them both when I climbed into the back seat ofSara's Citroen. I'd long ago established that I had permanent shotgun inmy mum's car, but I really didn't want to talk to either of them. Jennytook the hint with a shrug and climbed into the passenger seat. Theytried to make some small talk with me but after a couple of grunts foranswers, they stopped.I was too busy trying to catalogue the issues wrong with my body. Thedoctor, miffed by my insistence on leaving, had insisted that I use awheelchair to get to the car so I had barely walked yet every movementof my body felt wrong.It's hard to put into words quite what it felt like. It was almost as ifI'd been spun in a circle, over and over, the swirling chaotic feelingthat filled me. Yet, at the same time I wasn't dizzy. The pain. He looked around the oak-paneled room. The young solitary drinker at the end of the bar disappeared. He spotted a newspaper at the end of the long bar. He read about Protestants and Catholics feuding in Northern Ireland, an epidemic in Sudan, a beautiful young Israeli woman arrested for depicting Muhammad as a pig. And how beautiful this woman looked in the paper. Dark hair, lightly frizzed and flowing to her chest. He could not deny her beauty, a woman who actually thinks amidst chaos, a woman willing to die for what she believes, and yet this preposterous beauty would never find him, for if they walked upon the same pavement on any street in the world they would find themselves staunch enemies. And he would never speak with her, never touch her or kiss her.For what seemed like hours he stared at her photograph. His sips turned into frantic gulps just staring at her, regardless of her radical opinions or her hatred of Muslims, no matter the emblem of fist and Star of David tattooed.
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