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I kicked them away. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, let you see the old man in front of you. I struggled to present myself afresh, anew, rejuvenated.You freed me from my heartache. Freedom is a powerful aphrodisiac. You freed me and I desired you. I prayed it wouldn’t show. I was too old to lust but I did...for those first few minutes together.Then you revealed your secret truth to me, first with your tears and then with your words. Perhaps you saw my desire to be close to you. Perhaps you felt me in your heart. There was trepidation in my soul when you dabbed at your eyes. What had I done wrong?“I’m sorry,” you said. “It’s overwhelming me at the moment.”The wrenching of my heart was audible and made more evident by the moment of silence following. I extended my hand towards you on the table; an offering of comfort to a goddess in distress.“Please tell me about it.”I kept my voice low. You dabbed again at your eyes and confided in me. You spoke of the discovery, the fear, the physical. It was a terrible band but all our friends had us over to play at their parties because we only asked that they buy us beer. Being young, midwestern musicians, we loved beer. I played guitar and Jimmy played drums, but his kit had no cymbals. The other member of the band was Chris and he played guitar as well. It was an odd combo. The best thing about it was that it got Chris and I laid a lot. Girls love a guy that can play guitar. Jimmy was a good looking kid and the girls came on to him a lot but he always turned them down. I suspected Jimmy was gay. It was confirmed for me when he sucked my dick on the way home from a gig. I was a little buzzed and hadn’t gotten laid at the party because the cops had busted us before it got dark. I mentioned to Jimmy that I was horny. Jimmy blushed and said, “I can see that.” He looked right at the bulge in my pants. Joking around I said, “Too bad friends can’t give each other blow jobs.” Jimmy looked away and blushed. Mumbling he said, “I’ll suck.
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