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Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local WalmartDear Mrs. Woolf,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are"documented by our video surveillance cameras":1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting. If all we wanted was to get rid of the UAV and have a shot at getting a truly insane amount of money, that could be achieved easily. Apart from the dramatic crash itself, the process to be gone through to get the money would be a fairly simple and boring: The UAV would crash, we'd hold yet another press conference where we'd show the TV cameras the wreck and all the evidence we'd accumulated so the entire country would know that the Government had been spying on us, and we'd make "We're outraged!"-type comments. Then we'd send the Government a bill for $216 billion. Assuming it didn't respond by saying, "You're right, we're sorry, here's your check," we'd then sue them for it.What we were most concerned about was that the Government obviously wasn't letting financial risk restrain its actions. The FBI had been using multiple surveillance methods in the full knowledge that they were risking discovery, and they hadn't been scared off. If the risk of losing $216 billion hadn't stopped.
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