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He had only been there a few minutes, staring down into the depths of his beer, when he heard the barstool to his left being dragged outwards. "Hello," said a soft feminine voice, "It looks like you've had a rough day." Yeah, it was bad," Tom answered automatically. Glancing towards the speaker, he saw that she was a beautiful young blond, too well dressed for a place like Zelda's. Fishing into his jacket pocket, Tom pulled out his badge and flashed it. "Look, honey, I'm a cop. There hasn't been any solicitation, so I'm not going to try to bust you or hassle you, but you really might want to take your business elsewhere."The young woman looked confused for a moment and then her eyes went cold and flat. "I'm not a prostitute," she said in a low, frosty voice, "You just looked like a lost puppy that had been kicked a few times, so I thought you could use someone to talk to. But, now I think I'll do as you suggest and 'take my business elsewhere.'"Tom immediately felt like shit, and. Sam, if we weren't, we would be dead. You see, our wives are real man-eaters. If we weren't big, we would be utterly destroyed."Jack looked thoughtful and continued, "I think it was Ken Carlson who first figured it out. He estimates that in order to survive we need to approximately double our wives' weights. Most of us don't quite make it. The girls typically run about 120 and we don't make 240. I guess I can ... maintain Andy's interest ... at about 220 or so." Looking at Sam he said, "Of course, Ellie is going to be losing some weight, so that should give you a bit of a break..."While he was speaking, Andy was making sad faces and murmuring, "The poor, poor man..."Then Jack said, "Look, Sam, you were an Army Ranger, right?" Sam nodded, puzzled at the direction Jack was taking. "Well," he continued, "what sort of assignments do the Rangers get? The lousiest, dirtiest, nastiest jobs, right? The ones no one else will touch — or could handle, if they did — right?" Again Sam nodded..
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