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" Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me.A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife."You come to the front door of the apartment building. I am in apartment 3-1There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 3-1. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out,I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"What, You're coming empty handed?"An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to. Yeah, why change a good thing now.Contessa Helena de San Finzione walked through the halls of the newly renovated San Finzione Ministry of Science. Dr. Miguel Rocco, Minister of Science, walked alongside her as they proceeded to the lab.“So, you have not tested it, Contessa?” Dr. Rocco asked.“Well,” Helen thought. “I let Jeanne try it on for a little bit. For safety’s sake, we didn’t press any of the buttons or try any jumping; she just walked around in it. Damn good thing I commanded her to take it off when I said time was up before putting it on. No telling where she might be now. I got her something to make up for it. What about the other things?”“They are being disposed of, and we are analyzing the items that La Contessa gave us leave to before doing it.”“But not this one?” She asked as they approached a door with a retinal scanner.“As per your orders, Contessa,” Dr. Rocco answered, putting his face up to the device. It scanned his eye and allowed them access. “No one has even.
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