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“We shall call it John Wayne.”“Why?” asks the confused clerk.“Cause it’s rough and it’s tough and it don’t take no crap off an Indian.”A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter “I have a question that’s haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?”St. Peter said “That’s a question only God can answer.”So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked “God, please - I must know ... am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?”God simply replied “You are what you are.”The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him “Well, did God straighten out your query for you?”The zebra looked puzzled. “No sir, God simply said ‘You are what you are’.”St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra “Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes.”The zebra asked St. Peter “How do you know that for certain?”“Because” said St. Peter “If you were black. " I see. Spread your legs honey."Now, that was very embarrassing, to stand like that and have my mothercheck out the goods so to speak. All she did was grunt once, but, aswith the breast, I could feel it every time she touched me. I didn'tthink that would happen, so..." I felt that!" Oh my! I do know what girls look like, and you certainly look exactlylike any other girl!" That was the plan, remember?" Well, you've succeeded in convincing me! Now all you have to do isconvince everyone else!" I'll try mom, I promise!" Good night Mary." Night mom."The very next day mom herself enrolled me in a charm school. To beblunt, I hated it. Aerobics, walking, poise, as in how to use my handsand arms, stand, sit, and even talk, were subjects that were drilledinto me day after day, and I was judged at every turn, and weighed everyday, but eventually, the lessons began to take hold. I lost 18 poundsjust doing those aerobic exercises, which to be truthful, made me notonly look better, but feel.
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