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I finally settled on that I believe that there is SOMETHING out there, but not ‘God’ as he/she was presented to me when I was a child. Some part of my brain just couldn’t handle all of the crap that was served to me on the silver platter that was organized religion. So, here I am without something to believe in when, apparently, I need something. I’ve thought about medication for anxiety. I’ve talked to my doctor and read through the effects and side-effects. I don’t think meds are the answer. It’s the worst at night. I go to bed, feeling very peaceful, and then something happens to trigger thoughts of death in my mind and if I’m lucky, I can get rid of them. Other nights, they stay there at the front of my mind, so that no matter what I think about or if I get out of bed to do something else, they’re still there. Even trying to write doesn’t help because I’m too tired to focus. Sleeping pills don’t help, because I need at least ten hours to burn them out of my system. Even with a. Her hair was in a mess and her yellow sweater was all wrinkled, - especially over her bosom - even her skirt was twisted as if she had put it on in a hurry.Of course I didn't make any comment about her appearance, and when she told me that they had had to wait until ten thirty for the classes of one of the girl to end before coming home, I knew that she was lying since she had told me previously that both commuters were taking the same classes that she was. Beside, had she known about her arriving late she certainly would have told me about it previously, and even so there was no way that someone would be commuting with a group of people without first checking if they would be all finishing at the same time. No, her arriving late was unpredicted and worst still; her poor excuse was only a last minute attempt to hide the truth. To make matters worst, she also added that from now on, because of this girl finishing half an hour later than the rest, she was always going to arrive home.
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