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The “Lab” I work in, is actually the remnant of a military warehouse. Several warehouses, actually. A number of other experimenters work in the area. Usually kids with wild ideas, or adults with wilder ideas. I’m one of the ‘in-between’ crazy inventors. I made a name for myself in string theory, and multi-dimensional math. Then hit upon the idea of time travel. Nobody wanted to fund such an odd idea. Here at crackpot alley the government rents the space out to us, for one dollar per year.With a forty year lease, paid up front, it’s all mine.I began plugging away at the simulation again seeing what I might do differently. I was trying to get something to cross the Vortex a little bit more intact, and/or cooler. I wasn’t going to try it until I knew it wasn’t going to roast me alive, much less twist me inside out.As Sandy pulled up in her red Honda hatchback, she honked to have me let her in. I hit the big red button, and the lab entrance opened up.“So, boss, spill it. What the hell is. A person may be RAPEDonce, SHAFTEDtwice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.Persons who havebeenRAPEDcould get AIDS(Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES(Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).Obviously persons who have AIDSor HERPESwill not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.Persons who are not RAPEDand are staying on will receive as much SHIT(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHITyou can handle.Sincerely,The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.This one is compliments of Alex G UN.
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