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I could feel his lips, fairly full and shapely, on mine. It felt warm and soft and… terrifying and lovely and… blimey, I thought, what do I do now? You know how some people say minutes passed in their head but it was less than a split second in actuality? Well, I kid you not, this was at least a minute, and I was just there, frozen. I couldn’t move. And he wouldn’t move. It was either pull away or do something. Great Neptune! Do… do… do something, you idiot! I had heard a conversation in school between two friends. One had her first date coming up, and hadn’t ever kissed before, so she asked the more experienced friend for some advice. She said, “You lean in, rub your boobs against them, they like that. And you can moan a bit, they think you’re turned on. And then you put your lips together with his and… sort of… chew.” He was in charge of the leaning. I couldn’t do anything about the boobs, it was the unspoken HERE THEY ARE kind of situation. I wasn’t going to moan, I was far too. I have never had an orgasm with him and I have never been with any other man. For a long time, I never longed for any of these things and was content with my steady, reliably dull husband. I liked having coffee mornings with my dull, middle class friends. I liked my business and my steady clients. I liked my smart, tidy but dull clothing. I liked my sensible shoes and boring car and my holidays spent touring castles and gardens. Just before I turned 30 a series of incidents made me realise that I was bored with my life and needed some excitement. The first incident happened when I was walking through the park one summer Sunday morning, as is my habit. It was fairly early, around 8 am, as I have a habit of waking with the sun during the summer. My husband was visiting his elderly parents for the weekend and I had been unable to find somebody reliable to look after the shop on the Saturday so had not been able to go. I employ several part time staff in my shop, but on the Saturday the.
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