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Not long after I found out about masturbation, and then the internet, I discovered stories describing BDSM relationships, and it resonated somewhere deep inside of me. I wanted to be a dominant. I wanted control. But that inequality was so alien to how I was raised that I felt tremendous guilt about it and never told a soul about my desires. The guilt, however great, never stopped me from fantasizing. If I was going to turn over a new leaf, and try to be open and truly honest with my potential partners, I needed to acknowledge this part of me. Let it out, and learn how to engage it.Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified about letting the dominant part of me out. What if they thought I was sick. What if they laughed. Worst of all, what if I hurt somebody? Jesus. That would destroy me.But I was stuck on the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't go back to how I was, that way led nowhere, so I could only go forward, but I didn't know how to make a first. "Actually, there was no headache this time, only dizziness, but he decided not to tell her that."You were so brave to rescue your sister," she continued. "So brave, so strong." Her hand went to his upper arm. "Yes, very strong. I can feel those muscles. My little boy has grown up into a strong, handsome young man. I think I would be scared to be this close to you if you were anyone else. If you were to attack me, I don't think I could hold you off. You could do anything you wanted to me, and I wouldn't be able to resist you."Jeff felt both uneasy and excited at the same time. That almost sounded like an invitation!"Yes, you could easily overpower me," she breathed. "I would be completely helpless, and at your mercy. But I know you would never hurt me like that, would you, Jeff?"His excitement turned to disappointment, but he still enjoyed just being this close to her."No I wouldn't, Allison," he replied."Of course not. My Jeff loves me, and wouldn't ever do anything to hurt me. He.
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