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When it came to a testShe wished to be best,And practice makes perfect, you see.There was a young fello of kentWhose prick was so long that it bent,So to save himself troubleHe put it in double,And instead of coming, he went.There was a young man of kildaireWho was fucking a girl on the stair.The bannister broke,But he doubled his strokeAnd finished her off in mid-air.There was a young girl from new yorkWho plugged up her cunt with a cork.A woodpecker or twoMade the grade, it is true,But it totally baffled the stork.Till along came a man who presentedA tool that was strangely indented.With a dizzying twirlHe punctured that girl,And thus was the corkscrew invented.There was a young lady of norwayWho hung by her heels in a doorway.She said to her beau,‘Look at me, joe,I think i’ve discovered one more way.’There once was a lady from ardenWho sucked off a man in a garden.He said, ‘my dear flo,Where does all that stuff go?’And she said, ‘(swallow hard)-i beg pardon?’There was an old man of. I got a thumbs up from the bartender. I needed to keep things very upbeat, so next were both my girls to sing the duet they do so well, “Does He Love You.”That got actual applause from the whole place. People were walking in from outside, possibly because they heard singing.“In case you all were wondering who we are, my name is Michael Thomas, and the rest of these young people around me are My Gold Standard. We are on tour from Vincennes, Indiana!”While that got some applause, I took over and played and sang, “A Little Less Conversation,” the Elvis hit. I wasn’t trying to ‘do Elvis’ I just sang like I always do. During this, Peter and his wife walked in, and I asked, “How many of you have seen the movie, FROZEN?”The entire place raised their glasses, mostly holding liquor in them.“Good, we have a few real treats for you. While you are getting refills, or new drinks, we are playing tonight and tomorrow at the Target Center. They might be sold out, but if you ask, they may sell you.
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