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"And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%So, it stands to reason that knowledge and hard work will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.This one is compliments of IgorSix Affairs:The First Affair:A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate. The world is huddling into itself. Warm breath finds cool air. An ice-blue sky with the flavour of mint. All is texture. Time is a flywheel whirring in reverse, whistling softly. Today I will take the metro, at the same time of course. The wheels will squeak and squeal in just the same way. I will breathe in the people and the scent of their lives. I will get off at Gran Via. The train will slip away, leaving my nose filled with tunnel air, stale and temporary. I will walk to Puerta del Sol, past painted young women offering morning sex. I will enter the cafe. I will hear the rattle of silver spoons on china saucers, and the motion of smooth plates in stacks. Things will be given and taken. There will be a hum of collected conversations. Words will be given and taken. Hands will be held. Love will be given and taken. I will sit at that table. Yes, that one. My back will be to the mirror, just as it was. I will order the same coffee, in the same way. The waiter will have the same.
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