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Darlene picked up the phone sure enough, Hildy was there. Jim:’Hildy— remember me?’ Hildy:’I had a feeling you would call’ Jim: ‘Spring Break has started. I thought I would pay you a visit. How about a date tomorrow night?’ Hildy: ‘Just what I was hoping you would say. Where do you want to go?’ Jim: ‘Somewhere simple. Maybe a movie. You pick it out.’ Hildy:’I can’t wait to see you!’ Jim:’Hildy, I had another idea.’ Hildy:’I’m listening.’ Jim: ‘Well, if Darlene’s got a spare room in her new apartment maybe you could stay over with her tomorrow night. Maybe I could stay over, too.’ There was a pause and Jim wondered for a second if Hildy had hung up. At long last she came back on the line. Hildy:’I’ll do it. I’ll have to ask Darlene, but I’m sure shell say ‘yes’. Jim:’How can you be so sure?’ Hildy:’Darlene already offered it to me a couple of times.’ Jim:I like it! I’m going to stop and see my parents first and then I’ll see you at seven. ********************* Jim’s situation was. The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that.
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