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Why, oh why was I born a guy? I was soooo hoping she wouldget to the eventual cliche conversation of practicing on me. But, as herboyfriend was a mucho macho Latino, she could not even suggest this.The results of her schooling were almost immediately evident. Over thenext few months, she started doing makeovers on my wife, sometimessimple ones, and sometimes very elaborate ones. She experimented withhair color and nails; the entire time I was just going crazy. And shewas still treating me like shit for being the terrible person my wifehad made me out to be. So I didn't get the full benefit of these times.There was one time when my wife had been put on 5 days bed rest for anillness. She couldn't go to work, so Jane invited her to stay over forthe 5 days. She would take care of my wife while I was working. At thetime, my job involved not only 8 hrs a day, but also service calls onnights and weekends, so I worked a lot of hours some weeks.Jane got bored and decided to do another. Seated at a table that stood by a bay window in the lounge were our “guests” for tea; two elegantly dressed, shop-window dummies. “You are all far too inexperienced to practice on any of us,” Miss Carson announced, seeing our looks of disbelief at being expected to wait on mannequins. “When you can do things properly for Amanda and Sally here, you MAY be allowed to try serving Miss Matilda or her guests.”First of all we had to lay up a table for afternoon tea. Miss Carson stood by explaining how the table cloth needed to be spread just so, completely wrinkle free and hanging down equally on either side. Then the mats and cutlery had to be positioned exactly, not forgetting of course a mat for the tea pot, hot water jug, milk and sugar. All that was relatively normal, I suppose, if irritatingly exact in how Miss Carson wanted it done. The blank stare bestowed on us by the mannequins as we worked made the whole scene feel very peculiar, though.The strangeness was made worse by the fact.
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