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Sharla was dressed in a long light brown jacket and as she moved past me she turned her head quickly to me, kissing me on the cheek. I smiled as her lips touched my skin and watched her move further into the house. I kept the door open for the dogs to go out and do their business but kept my eyes on Sharla. After the dogs returned to the house I closed the door and moved over toward Sharla's still form. Sharla was staring at me and I asked her if she was okay and she smiled. I knew that she loved what had transpired last night and understood that her and her husband had been playing and enjoying their new sexual desires with each other all night long. I took Sharla's hand and led her to the sofa and asked her if she would like a drink and she said, "Yes please, water."I went into the kitchen and knew that Sharla's eyes were on my body which was visible through my dressing gown. I got each of us a glass of water and went and sat by Sharla on the sofa. I asked her what was going on and. I could sleep in our bed or I could sleep in the car, it was the only thing in both of our names and I wasn’t sure which would be colder in the middle of December. The tears started to fall as I continued on through the snow, painfully aware of the numbness in my toes as the snow melted into the holes of my boots. I could almost hear my mother telling me to stop crying before my eyes froze shut, but I wanted them to be frozen. I wanted everything to be frozen so I could stop feeling. I didn’t want to feel the pain or rejection anymore and I had nobody to turn to. ‘She’ had made sure of that over the years, cutting me off from family and friends as I ignorantly followed like an obedient pup. This wasn’t the way I planned on spending my life when we first got together. I thought we would take care of and love each other, but after 20 years it finally dawned on me that the only one doing the thoughtful things was me for ‘her’ and when I finally stood up for myself she told me to ‘get.
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