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But whipped cream would spatter so much better.Mia jogged around the camera to eyeball the viewfinder. Made sure it was trained on Baun’s vital, gorgeous, dripping form. Then she stepped to the side. Drew on her training from pitching in her high school softball team, and heaved the pie at Baun’s face.Splat!A tin foil circle engulfed Baun’s face before clattering to the floor. Whipped cream spattered behind her, pie crust sliding off her face. It bounced on her breasts, falling on the floor between her legs. Thick curdles of cream dripped down her neck, dropped from her chin. Again the gaping black hole of her mouth. Breath. God, breath. Vitality. The woman who refused to live a life without laughter, love, and gratitude. Refused to fit in, refused to live a life she didn’t believe in. It was because of her that Mia loved a woman. It was because of her that she had learned so many things, from literature to science to self control and expression. Baun allowed Mia to. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.Compliments of LarryOne hot summer day, Bruce came to town with his dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into the pub for a cold one.Some 20 minutes later, a cop entered the bar and asked, "Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside... ?"Bruce called out, "It's mine, mate." Your dog seems to be in heat," the cop said.Bruce replied, "No way. She's cool as, 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree."The cop said, "No... ! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred." No way," said Bruce. "That dog don't need no bread. She ain't hungry 'cause I fed 'er this mornin'."The exasperated cop said, "NO! You idiot, you don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex... !"Bruce looked at the cop, then at his dog, and said, "Well, go ahead. I've always wanted a police dog..."There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory. Try as he might to impress.
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