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I cried a lot during the lulls and cursed some during the spurts of activity. It was a roller coaster ride that night for sure.When I hit the bed at 3:30AM, I was totally exhausted. I shed a few tears, but only a few before I drifted off to sleep. We had a 6AM call the next morning. One of the patients at a nursing facility was almost finished. Lois and I loaded her into the Ambulance. I barely kept her alive long enough to make it to the hospital, but I managed to deliver her still breathing, even if it was shallow and labored. I didn't want the lady to die in my ambulance, any more than the facility wanted her to die in their care.After the delivery, Lois and I stopped for breakfast. We often did that if the shift ended within an hour of clearing the hospital."So are you alright?" Lois asked over her runny eggs."Define alright," I said with as much of a smile as I could manage. "If you consider not suicidal as alright, then yeah I'm alright." Good, then I won't worry about you.". "But you-you can give me what I want. And in return, well," she strode over and sat down on his lap, putting her arms around him. "In return," she repeated, breathing huskily in his ear, "I'll give you what you want." Jake chuckled softly. "Let me ask you this. What do you want me to change you into?"Talamia sat very still for a moment. Then, "Like your other concubine- the redhead. She's happy to serve you. It's her life's definition. Can you make me happy like that?"Jake considered. The whole idea seemed like cheating somehow, but she had asked him to. He had never really thought of himself as Courtney's reason for living before, either. It sent a chill down his back to imagine what she would do if something happened to him.Asking for your whole point of view to be changed-your whole life-it seemed like suicide for the soul. Like a phoenix, dying to be reborn from its own ashes. Jake sighed. He had reservations about this, but it truly seemed to be what she wanted.She was still.
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