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Nolan continued the new employee orientation. We went over dress code, or lack thereof, and bouncer names. Turns out Abe moonlighted as a bouncer at the Bang. I was expected to learn their famous drinks by tomorrow. Penny didn’t look too bad after a few blunders with the vodka bottle. I wouldn’t want to grab her ass in a dark room though. The office crowd was from six till ten, followed by the douchbag crowd from ten till close. I knew how to make three of the ten drink specials that no one ever asked for. The girls wanted something with an umbrella or sugar with an ounce of alcohol. The guys wanted beer. The cheaper the better. Nolan didn’t carry Natty Light. So I spent most of my night breaking off all ten pink fingernails on PBR cans. By eleven o’clock I’d forgotten why on earth I’d talked myself into this and wanted nothing more than to cuddle up in the fetal position with my thumb in my mouth. ‘Two red headed sluts!’ D-bag number eighty-nine asked. Two bubbly Tri-Delts behind. Tap, tap, tappity, tap tap. On it went for quite some time.Finally the woodpecker returned with a smug, satisfied smile.“Well” asked the princes, “Is the young sapling a Son of a Birch or a Son of a Beech?”“Gentlemen, the sapling is neither the Son of a Birch nor a Son of a Beech.” the woodpecker replied. “For the sapling is a female tree ... and the finest young Ash I’ve ever had the privilege to tap!”Mathematics: Brilliant!!This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 years’ experience.It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint ... and it goes like this:What Makes 100%?What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.How about achieving 103%?What makes up 100% in life?Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:If:A B C D.
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