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" Did she know she was the reason I was crying?" Of course she did, Jackie. Just settle down for a minute and listen."I crossed my arms under my chest. I didn't really feel like whatever lecture I was going to get."She was waiting in the living room for me when I got home last night. Do you have any idea how hard that was for her to do?" I guess." Jackie, she hasn't come out of her room alone except to go to the bathroom. And she's really had to struggle just to do that. For her to leave the safety of her room to wait for me by herself took a lot of courage." OK." She hurts, Jackie. She was crying on my shoulder last night because she hurt you." Then why does she keep shoving me away?" It's not that simple. Her body actually hurts if you or any other male gets too close to her. Those few times when she started crying, she told me she was ready to throw up if you hadn't left. Not that she wanted to throw up but that her body would do it because you were so close to her."She doesn't. I would never be able to get over it, and she could read me too well. She would never be happy knowing I wasn't happy. I couldn't do that to her. I loved her too much. Of all the people in my life, I couldn't imagine being the reason she wasn't able to be happy. It would kill me.I then started thinking about all of the friends who were moving on with their lives. Eve left me, at the beginning of the summer, to chase her dreams. I hadn't heard from her in over a month. Shortly I'd be losing Beth, Cindy, and Suzanne. Greg and Angie would be leaving with Kyle. They would all be leaving for college in about a month. I was feeling a little like everyone was leaving me. Again, part of me knew this was way overblown, but the emotional side of me kept screaming, 'me, me, me!'Beth had been trying to find me replacement friends in Mona, Kim, and Kelly. Kelly wasn't really interested. Mona had indicated that she wouldn't be satisfied with just being friends. Kim and I never really clicked.
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