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I knew my fantasies sometimes got in the way, but never before had they put my life in danger. But no matter how terrified I was at the thought of leaving reality behind, that was exactly what happened next. As soon as the fantasy had begun, I breathed a sigh of relief. I had not moved an inch for the past few minutes and every muscle in my body now ached. You have no idea how difficult it is to remain perfectly still for a prolonged period of time, even if its only standing up with an outstretched arm. Neither did I until I tried to move and felt my knees buckle. I crashed to the ground, cringing when a branch snapped beneath me. There was a moment of silence before the ground started to shake and the sound of leaves brushing against fur reached my ears. I dared not look up until the animal stood before me. My eyes traveled up his body until I reached his head. He stood on his hind legs, his massive frame towering above me like certain doom. His right paw left his side and his claws. 47 train! Back comes her bod, and my pickies and that was that, off I went for the plaster of a broken thumb, and she to wipe arse or whatever nurses do. Now you might think ‘cheating old basket, but my misses and I have an unspoken rule never to keep secrets, so, that night I told her of the young lady and her stress and manners and that I was going to take her up to our ‘chalet in the hills,’ (our hut, in reality an elderly porter cabin by the fishing lake) where I was going to show her the flat of my hand if necessary. (I didn’t mention the screwing her bit but well, she-thinks…in my condition and time of life, it wouldn’t be a problem!) Thus, it was that on that wet Saturday in November I waved good-by, to the trouble and strife of 40 odd years and nipped off to collect a replacement, who I wasn’t sure of and , so little did I know her, I doubted she would turn up, me having only spoken to her in the waiting room at X-ray!... was I down for a surprise… Well I sat there for a.
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