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It would have been so easy for me to sneakinto the kitchen late some night, get the biggest sharpest knife I couldfind. Then, take that knife with me into the bathroom, undress, get intothe shower, and cut it off.I was just about ready to do anything to make the teasing at school andthe pain I felt at being forced to be a boy stop. I really did hatemyself so much because of it. Again, I would beg and plead with whateverforce controlled nature to change me, make me the girl I really wasinside.There was one boy that was kind to me, Brad. He was new to the school andhad been in the English class the day I read the part of Liza. It tookhim a few weeks to start to talk to me and then it was only after schoolor when we were sure no one else was around. What he said to me, made meso unbelievably happy.He told me that when I read that part in class, he had closed his eyesand could imagine me as Liza. He said he could sense a tenderness andsoftness that no one else seemed to understand. It. I’ve been opening up for a couple of weeks now and telling you some things that are kind of intimate. A few of them were embarrassing! And you won’t be as open with me? How does that strengthen our relationship?’ he finally said in the face of another refusal. His outburst surprised Bridget. She hadn’t been thinking about that as much as the embarrassment of admitting something that she had kept secret for a long time. Don seemed so willing to share that she hadn’t considered that aspect of it. Was it fair for her to let him be the only one? She looked over at Don. He wasn’t really angry as much as frustrated. She didn’t want that. It could undercut any improvements in their relationship. ‘Okay, Don. I get it. But just like you said, don’t make too much of this! It’s a fantasy, not something that I was going to do,’ Bridget said in an uncertain tone. Not wanting to discourage her, Don just nodded. He could tell how nervous she was by the way she fidgeted with her hands. It was an old.
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