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He always had the time for the right word.’ I find myself looking at the fat nurse. ‘August Cooper was careful with his words. If he omitted something, it was intentional. If he told the same story over andover again…it’s because he believed it was worth the telling. I think he knew, as some people instinctively know and as others never learn, that the words are important. Even more important than the story.’ I’m getting choked up, now, and I can feel my smile fade. ‘My grandfather didn’t call me son by mistake. He didn’t call me son as a way of mourning, or hiding the loss of, his own child. And he didn’t call me son as a casual term of endearment. My grandfather, in his own gentle way, wanted to make sure that I knew how much I meant to him. He wanted me to know that, even if I only had the one person left in this world, it was someone who loved me unconditionally and who would be there for me.’ I have to pause for a moment to regain control. One stray tear tickles my cheek, and. Something deep inside her had broken free in Jamaica -- a side of her that she had never wanted to acknowledge to herself or to me for fear that I might lose respect for her. But under the control of Samuel and Jamal, and with me in a supporting and protective role, she was free to just be that darker creature. She didn't want me to be permanently submissive nor did she want to be a full time whore, but she didn't want to be Mrs Mid-West Housewife again either.And it wasn't just exhibitionism or submission - she also felt a sense of power feeling the man inside her approach climax, knowing she was responsible for that, and then, after he came, his reduction to a c***d in her arms, if only for a few minutes.For my part, in the months since our return I had analyzed my emotions and reactions a lot. I had been excited by the feelings that Jaye's behavior and experiences with Samuel and the others had triggered. I loved watching her in the throes of passion. I loved seeing her white legs.
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