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This was my new obession, I had to know what this felt like. My body demanded it, and my mind raced with images of Tamara on the table with that guy. I don’t know if it was biology, or just 5 or 6 years of repressed libido that was all escaping at once, but my mission was clear: I was going to find a cute guy, and I was going to find out what it was like to have sex with him. I can’t stress enough how wildly out of character this was for me. I had only kissed four guys in my life, and all four had been Asian-American as well. Three of them I’d met at church, and a fourth was a guy that I’d crossed paths with at national meets. The one and only time I’d allowed a guy to reach ‘second base’ was with him. Alas, it was only a fling, as we were both too busy to mess with trying to keep up a relationship. Now, even though I knew that the stereotypes about race and penis size weren’t necessarily true, I wasn’t interested at all in trying to find an Asian boy to experiment. I find myself lost sometimes in the middle of room thinking of him. I will hear a word or catch a sent and it will spin me back to nights that took place so long ago that my breath catches in my throat, my cheeks flush a deep crimson and my gut is wretched with passion. I know I have many more nights before we will meet again but I can't seem to think of the promises that it may hold. I have fantasies of your hands, rough and calloused, gripping my thighs and waist. I received an email only a day ago and though our next meeting is still a week off I reread it for the millionth time, every word burned into my mind. I went on my shopping trip earlier and here I sit my purchases laid out before me. I the red rubber pouch connected to the long white tube, a small hard smooth plastic nozzle at the end, the lubricant you requested I use, the butt plug. Though I know that I have several nights before I need to prepare myself for you, I have planned my practice run for tonight. This.
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