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I called Tom and told him I was moving out of the house and that Ellen could either move back in until it sold, or else let it stay empty. I told him I was leaving it unlocked and my keys would be on the living room coffee table. I purposely didn't tell him where I'd be staying, or give him any way to get in touch with me. I had put in a change of address at the post office that would forward all my mail to Mr. Bennett's office.I let Ray and Billy know where I was staying, but only after they promised they wouldn't give out the information. It was easier for me just living in one room. It was an impersonal and neutral territory for me, with nothing there to remind me of how I'd screwed everything up. I'd get up every morning and take care of the things that needed tending to. I ate out every day and had my laundry done at a little Chinese laundry less than a mile from my rooming house.Billy was keeping me filled in with some of the family stuff. I didn't ask, but he kept me up to. Carol and I never shared the same room again. There were nights that I went in and we had sex but I usually ended up back in my room. As I said we had sex, but Carol no longer put love into it. We started doing it less and less. She did however climax almost every time. I don’t blame her, she could have divorced me and ended our marriage and that could have destroyed our family. We were lucky if we did it once every two or three months after the affair. There were periods I remembered going over six months. Around holidays and special occasions is when we made it. I think the alcohol loosened her up on those occasions. An example might be at a wedding, she would get drunk and horny and I might do her in another room. Usually I would start fingering her and when she got wet I would lead her into a side room and start eating her out. God, how she loved it and I loved it too. Once she got into the throes of passion I would lift up her dress and start fucking her. I didn’t care who saw.
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