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But again while I was napping, came again the gentle rapping, Like a crowbar faintly tapping, tapping at my damper door, That I scarce was sure I heard... Here opened wide the damper door!Flames winked out; then nothing more.Deep into the darkness seeking, long I sat there, almost leakingYellow stains into my undies as I'd sometimes done before;Briefly silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token, 'Til the only words there spoken were the whispered sound, "Go lower."Stricken was I, and in echo murmured I the words, "'Go lower?'These are rodents, nothing more!"From the fireplace came a huffing, as of someone gruffly puffing, Soon thereaft I heard a grunting, somewhat louder than before, "Surely," said I, "surely, that is something bigger than a rat is.Armed I'm not save my Thesaurus, for this myst'ry to explore.Let my heart be still a moment, for it cannot be my whore." 'Tis a rodent, nothing more."Down into the ashes fell he, landing on his rotund belly, Bouncing out and. There was no eye contact as we marched towards the store, and as soon as we passed through the automatic glass doors, we all split up and went our separate ways, without so much as a whisper. The journey was over. Back to square one, I became a man on a mission. I had a list before me. I intended to make my very exciting casserole. You see, when a man is forced to live within his means, he must take it upon himself to squeeze the value out of every dime (forget pennies). The casserole is the desperate man’s best friend (unless dogs were back on the menu). The requirements for the dish were simple. A can of peas, because they’re green. A box of noodles, for the slimy texture. A can or two of tuna, or, if I was feeling particularly fancy, some shredded chicken, because a man needs his meat. To round it out, two cans of cream of mushroom soup, to give it that broth texture. A meal of this caliber could easily last three days. Four if I stretched it, and stretch it, I would. Everything.
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