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“I need to email the girls and let them know how things are,” I said, knowing they understood. “Gina, Collie and Tabby are on their way over. Emma knows and I’ll call Hanna when they’re here so I only have to explain it once.”They gave me knowing looks. This was ripping the guts out of me and I was doing a fair job of holding together, but it didn’t hurt any less for it.I sat down at my computer and started typing the email I had to send.Dear girls,It hasn’t been a good day for me. Cheryl and I have split up. Her recovery hasn’t progressed far enough for us to pursue a relationship together, so she’s moving out and going back to her parents. For this reason, I won’t be able to be a father to her baby. I assign no blame for this and hope you don’t either. It’s just poor timing that put us in a situation that’s led to both of us feeling deeply uncomfortable moving forward together. I hope you all continue to be a friend to her and I wish her well in the future. I hope she comes to a. Christ,’ I think to myself, ‘I’m only a kid. I have trouble getting lunch money. Where am I going to get enough money to buy her a present?’ Hurriedly I finish my cornflakes, kiss my mom goodbye and race off to school. My feet pound on the gravel path, my mind working overtime, I curse myself for the umpteenth time. Amidst all the chaos something I once heard my father say comes back to me, ‘Of course,’ I think to myself, ‘flowers, that’s it I’ll get her flowers.’ A quick detour through the neighbor’s gardens and soon I have what I feel is the perfect red rose. Not too big not too small, each petal perfectly formed and ready to flower into its full glory. ‘Like our love,’ I think with a sense of satisfaction. I increase my speed and make it to school well before time. Immediately my eyes spot her, surrounded by friends and well wishers. I want to go to her to give her my token of love but I don’t, I can’t and so the rose remains in my bag till the end of the day. It is on my way.
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