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We weren’t dying to find out what each other was like in bed, because we knew. And although we had enjoyed our brief full-on relationship, we kind of missed each other’s point a bit. By that I mean Ali and I liked different things sexually, and the balance of our friendship was different from the balance of our sex life. Anyway, we had discussed it calmly and rationally and decided we would be better allies if sex was kept out of it. “If I don’t get laid today,” she said, “I’m going to fucking scream.” “Me too,” I said. It was a bank holiday Monday, one of the loneliest days of the year, and we were twiddling our thumbs, watching TV in the afternoon, eating crisps and avoiding opening the wine until five o’clock – or at least a quarter to four. “So what are your possibilities?” I asked. “None of the usual suspects,” she replied gloomily. “I’ve put out feelers in several directions and nobody’s responded.” “And yet you can bet your life there are millions of people in the world. “I can’t work in the dark,” he said.Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening.Inside the letter was £100 her parents had sent. Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture.As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.Quickly, she wrote, “Don’t despair. - Sister Barbara,” on a piece of paper, wrapped the £100 in it, got the man’s attention and tossed it out the window to him.The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting.Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of money“What’s this?” she asked... “That’s the £8,000 you have coming Sister,” he replied. “Don’t Despair paid 80-to-1.”An elderly couple was sitting together watching television. During a commercial break, the husband asked his.
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