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I will always regret that I lacked the willpower to stick it out until now, but I won’t regret my love for her, nor my marriage to you. I regret that the context makes it wrong for me and painful for you. May God forgive me for my weakness of character, my admittedly very human weakness, yet one that caused you pain despite my desire to avoid that.Whatever you did or didn’t do, I’m in no place to judge. Whatever you do from here on, do what you must to survive and don’t fret about me. I will be fine, guilty conscience aside. Do whatever you must to make your life bearable, as I will do henceforth as well. I’ve not hesitated to sin when it was necessary or difficult to escape, hoping that God will forgive and accept me in spite of my sins. I’ve eaten pork and that was wrong, but hardly my greatest offense to God. I have shaved my beard to make surgery more sanitary, though I kept my turban and haven’t cut my hair. I probably look more like a woman at a distance than a man.Please see it. Eternally yours,Wendell*October 28th, 1860My Dearest Wendell,I hope my letter finds you well, and once again, on your way back to me. It had been over a month before I heard from you, and I worried that the Indians had started waring again. The final crop has been brought in, and Mr. Colbert paid a fine price for our cabbage.I, too, dream of you nightly, my love, and long to feel your warm embrace in our bed. The loving quilt our mothers made keeps me warm, but not the warms I feel in your loving embrace.I long for your embrace, and to feel your strong hands caress my rear. To taste your lips and tongue as they explore my mouth. I wish to once again play your fiddle and listen to the sounds you make as I play my tongue across it. To feel the warm saltiness of your seed as it slides down my throat.Yes, my love, I want to feel you deep inside my quim. To feel your stiffness pushing through heavens gate. I wish to once again feel your seed fill me as my short shoves take me to heaven,.
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