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“LePater, tell this buffoon who I am, and who my father is!”Lieutenant Lepater made the overdue introduction.“This is Captain Zayne Masters, Colonel. He is the son of Sir Gregory Masters, Governor of Calcutta Presidency.”Of course. ‘Masters’ had stirred my memory of when Captain Skeay had revealed the name of Captain X, but I had not coupled it with the important official in Calcutta whose death had so upset Huck Dolihaye.“Excuse me for not offering you my hand, Masters, but I do not wish to be contaminated. However, I can offer you my condolences on the death of your father.”Masters face paled.“I do not believe you. You will discover that my father has a vicious temper when his family is maligned, and any position you may hold in London cuts no ice here in India.”“I assure you I speak the truth.” I fumbled in my jacket and pulled out a sheaf of documents. I handed him the one with the death notice of his father.He read the letter and then slumped against the table, completely. ****AND THE WINNER IS ****FOR SALE BY OWNER.Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.Statement Of The CenturyThought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"Children Are QuickTEACHER: Why are you late?STUDENT: Class started before I got here.TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell crocodile?GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-LTEACHER: No, that's wrongGLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.(I Love this child)TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?DONALD: H I J K L M N O.TEACHER: What are you talking about?DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten.
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Over the past year, I've grown to know these two people as the most selfless individuals I've ever had the privilege to know. Do you, John, take Patricia as your lawful wedded wife, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, 'til death do you part?" He already has", replied Patty, before I had a chance to answer."Do you, Patricia, take John to be your lawful wedded husband, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, 'til death do you part?" I certainly do", she replied softly."By the power vested in me by the Holy Catholic Church and the State of Indiana, I now pronounce you husband and wife. John, you may kiss your bride."As the ceremony ended, the bells were ringing madly.At the reception, there was a mountain of gifts; I always considered it tacky to not open the gifts at the reception and acknowledge the giver, and by God, we were going to open every one if it took all night. We went through several piles of gifts.

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