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A young customs official watched the large entourage in disbelief, “Ma’am,” he said, “do all these children and this luggage belong to you?”“Yes, sir,” the lady said with a sigh, “they’re all mine.”The customs agent began his interrogation “Ma’am, do you have any weapons, contraband or drugs in your possession?”“Sir,” she calmly answered, “if I’d had any of those items, I would have used them by now.”My wife asked me why I don’t play golf with Patrick anymore. So I asked her “Would you continue to play with a guy who always gets drunk, loses so many balls other groups are always playing through, tells lousy jokes while you are trying to putt, and generally offends everyone around him on the course?”“Certainly not, dear” she replied.“Well, neither would he.”Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. “Follow me” he said, opening the gate and walking in.After some walk, Saint Pete’s. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of him at the bar, he was a first timer, she would of remembered him, his was tall and well built and very striking to look at, he was laughing easily with the waitress, his eyes crinkling at the edges as he smiled with them. He had a strong jawline and she imagined stroking it, his designer stubble scraping along her nails. Again the heat was there stronger this time a lot more intense, she really wanted this one. He must of felt her eyes on him as he looked up and caught her fiery gaze upon him, he grinned at her and mouthed the words ‘care to join me?’She made her way over slowly, stopping to pass the time with some regular clients, aware that his eyes were on her, she could feel them burning into her almost, but she did not hurry. She made a quick detour and had a quiet word with Murray, her business partner, told him she was off duty now and he was in charge. Murray gave her a cheeky wink and a slap on the arse, told her to enjoy,.
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