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First, my therapist suggested it. He called it a 'project' to help me work my feelings out about things. Whatever, I will give it a shot.And for my kids, not just for me. I need to be whole for them.In losing Anita, I seem to have also lost myself. I mean, I'm a proud guy. I've always been the one others call when they have problems. I was in the Navy and did two deployments to Iraq, so I'm not a crybaby, I'm a realist. The diagnosis was made, and we sought treatment. We did all we could, but cancer is an invitation to the other side to which, in most cases, the RSVP can not be withdrawn.Nothing motivates me now. It's as if I'm on autopilot, and everything I do is just part of my programming. I haven't even gone back to work yet. It'd probably help me to keep busy, but I can only think of my precious wife and how much I miss her just being here.Those few seconds in the morning when I first wake up, are the only peace I get.Until I remember...Journal Entry Number Two:Anita came to me. "A drink? It's 11:00 in the morning." Hey, corporate guy, it will make the afternoon go oh so much smoother. Trust me."With that, we were off, arm in arm, like two giggling teens on another island adventure.In short order I discovered that Pamela, the adult version, was absolutely charming. She was light years away from our humble Southern upbringings. We found a wonderful little restaurant where she stunned me with her knowledge of wines and haute cuisine. She also was well versed in business, the stock market, and asked me fully informed questions about my company's interests in plastics technology, semi-conductors, and the rest.Our luncheon lasted well into the afternoon and I could not remember ever having more fun. Pamela was the most intoxicatingly enchanting woman I had ever encountered... with no close second. And, by the end of our reminiscing we were both feeling the delightful affects of more than one expensive bottle of wine."I must say that this has been a fantastic.
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